Junk in the Trunk

A self-indulgent Homestuck AU set in the 19th century. Colonialism, the patriarchy, picaresquities, adventuresses, and shitty carts.

Apr 26

Update tomorrow! Support the artist and writer today?

ada-or-ardor:

SUPER CHEAP COMMISSIONS.

If you’ve emailed me in the past about one and I haven’t gotten back to you, please email me again (emily.a.bergslien@gmail.com) if you’re interested!

I’ll consider most fandoms if you give me a good reference, but I’m familiar with the following: Homestuck (duh), Princess Tutu, Madoka, Simoun, MLP, Adventure Time, ATLA, and the really obvious stuff like HP. I do charge less for Homestuck.

I’m also up for drawing furry folk!

I am comfortable with a moderate level of sexual content and am familiar with kink, so… don’t be afraid to ask me about that! I will also draw a moderate level of gore.

SKETCHES

One-color/B&W: $10 USD ($5 for Homestuck characters), one character, $5 per character for additional characters.

Example 1

Example 2

Colored/rendered sketch: $20 USD ($15 for Homestuck), one character, $5 per character for additional characters.

Example 1

Example 2

DRAWINGS AND PAINTINGS/ILLUSTRATION

$25 for one character (20 for Homestuck), $5 for each additional character.

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ICONS

$3 per icon

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Example 2

If you would like a really detailed setting in a sketch or finished piece, we’ll have to talk! That’ll be about $10 more.

Spread the word, please.

If you would like to commission me, please leave a note in my ask box with contact info OR drop me an email at emily.a.bergslien @ gmail dot com.


Apr 21
There are fragments of glass buried in your fingers. The sticky sheen of spilt champagne glosses your trouser leg. Listen: do you remember where you are?
Spatially, you are sitting on a bench in Duke Zahhak’s gardens.
Temporally, you’ve left the party. You don’t know what you did there or why you attended.
Narratively, you are a chapter heading. You are the unseen eye at the peephole. You are a small bug skimming over a great ocean. You are a blind man feeling an elephant’s trunk and wondering what creature this is.
The elephant is having carnal relations.

There are fragments of glass buried in your fingers. The sticky sheen of spilt champagne glosses your trouser leg. Listen: do you remember where you are?

  • Spatially, you are sitting on a bench in Duke Zahhak’s gardens.
  • Temporally, you’ve left the party. You don’t know what you did there or why you attended.
  • Narratively, you are a chapter heading. You are the unseen eye at the peephole. You are a small bug skimming over a great ocean. You are a blind man feeling an elephant’s trunk and wondering what creature this is.
  • The elephant is having carnal relations.

CHAPTER THREE
A sudden light transfigures a trivial thing, a weather-vane, a wind-mill, a winnowing flail, the dust in the barn door; a moment,—and the thing has vanished, because it was pure effect; but it leaves a relish behind it, a longing that the accident may happen again. - Troll Jerry Saltz
Do you remember where you are?

CHAPTER THREE

A sudden light transfigures a trivial thing, a weather-vane, a wind-mill, a winnowing flail, the dust in the barn door; a moment,—and the thing has vanished, because it was pure effect; but it leaves a relish behind it, a longing that the accident may happen again. - Troll Jerry Saltz

Do you remember where you are?



You 8acon-faced harridan, you—
Quiet, Marchioness.

Someone is listening.

You 8acon-faced harridan, you—

Quiet, Marchioness.

Someone is listening.


Mar 4

Feb 15

Then we are assured— we shan’t meddle with each other.

You raise your hand; she catches your wrist.

Swear it, Marchioness.
All right, 8ut I never meddled with you. Just remember when she jilts you that I told you so! I told you she wasn’t to 8e trusted. And what do you think I’d do to Mr. Eg8ert? 8reak his heart? Shame on you, Miss Lalonde, you and your stupid little needles!!!!!!!! I think you want to stick your thorns into everybody’s 8usiness to show off. I think you’re a 8ore and you’re rude.
I think your cape is ugly.
Oh my G8d!!!!!!!!

Then we are assured— we shan’t meddle with each other.

You raise your hand; she catches your wrist.

Swear it, Marchioness.

All right, 8ut I never meddled with you. Just remember when she jilts you that I told you so! I told you she wasn’t to 8e trusted. And what do you think I’d do to Mr. Eg8ert? 8reak his heart? Shame on you, Miss Lalonde, you and your stupid little needles!!!!!!!! I think you want to stick your thorns into everybody’s 8usiness to show off. I think you’re a 8ore and you’re rude.

I think your cape is ugly.

Oh my G8d!!!!!!!!


Feb 4
Show dialogue:

What do you want from me?
Wh8t do you think?
I’m not easily ransomed. You’ll have to win me.
You w8re trying to provoke me. Adm8t it. Wh8t have I done to you????????
Nothing in particular.
That’s wh8t I thought!
Then why are we here?
You’re not as clever as you think you are. No one trots out the old the8tre horse— g— d—n it, I h8 those statues.
I’m no blushing maid, but they are particularly vulgar. Continue.
No one would mention the8tre, unless—
Unless?
Unless they were trying to 8rag, or 8ully me, and they were a v8ry stupid little girl. So if you’ve 8uttered your 8un with Miss Maryam, I don’t care!!!!!!!! Have your little tri8ade. She’s greasepaint and 8ad faith, through and through.
Of course. I am very sorry for my nastiness. I will go sit in the corner and take porridge for my supper. I leave you with this, Marchioness: meddle too dearly with Mr. Egbert, and you’ll find I’m a dab hand with a needle.
You dreadful little 8—. She would like you.

==>

Show dialogue:

What do you want from me?

Wh8t do you think?

I’m not easily ransomed. You’ll have to win me.

You w8re trying to provoke me. Adm8t it. Wh8t have I done to you????????

Nothing in particular.

That’s wh8t I thought!

Then why are we here?

You’re not as clever as you think you are. No one trots out the old the8tre horse— g— d—n it, I h8 those statues.

I’m no blushing maid, but they are particularly vulgar. Continue.

No one would mention the8tre, unless—

Unless?

Unless they were trying to 8rag, or 8ully me, and they were a v8ry stupid little girl. So if you’ve 8uttered your 8un with Miss Maryam, I don’t care!!!!!!!! Have your little tri8ade. She’s greasepaint and 8ad faith, through and through.

Of course. I am very sorry for my nastiness. I will go sit in the corner and take porridge for my supper. I leave you with this, Marchioness: meddle too dearly with Mr. Egbert, and you’ll find I’m a dab hand with a needle.

You dreadful little 8—. She would like you.

==>


Jan 27
Show dialogue:

Impudent 8rat!!!!!!!! 8ut she has vim, I’ll grant her that. A fine young filly, Zahhak.
D —> 100d
halibut wwe talk about the theatre again
Particularly pun-gent, Prince. Now, Marchioness: I know you like Shakespeare, for I am led to understand you were a popular patron. An “a88ess” of art, if you will.
Oh, I’m a philanthropist, cert8nly. I am not sure how you would know— I’ve never seen you in my circle 8efore.
No; I am familiar with your charitable work, and I’ve heard much of you from my good friend Mister Egbert. We have many connexions.
I hope we’ll m8ke more. Will you take a stroll with me a8out the garden?

==>

Show dialogue:

Impudent 8rat!!!!!!!! 8ut she has vim, I’ll grant her that. A fine young filly, Zahhak.

D —> 100d

halibut wwe talk about the theatre again

Particularly pun-gent, Prince. Now, Marchioness: I know you like Shakespeare, for I am led to understand you were a popular patron. An “a88ess” of art, if you will.

Oh, I’m a philanthropist, cert8nly. I am not sure how you would know— I’ve never seen you in my circle 8efore.

No; I am familiar with your charitable work, and I’ve heard much of you from my good friend Mister Egbert. We have many connexions.

I hope we’ll m8ke more. Will you take a stroll with me a8out the garden?

==>


Jan 21
Show dialogue:

Peter Pan? My l8 hus8and was fond of Peter Pan. How tearfully I recall it!

You pause and let the emotion wash over you. You are thoroughly dampened.

8ut I’ve not met this young lady. Surely this is not your prot8ge, dear Zahhak—
D —> I cannot imagine what you mean
Well, never mind; I want to see how well you’ve trained it. Your favorite p8nter? Writer? Where, if anywhere, should you like to go in life?
fra angelic0 j0hn ruskin and t0 fl0rence 0r t0 r0me
th0ugh if i may be h0nest t0 whitstable for 0ysters
What’s your name?
miss megid0
Miss Megido, do you know who I am????????
y0u are very imp0lite 0_0

==>

Show dialogue:

Peter Pan? My l8 hus8and was fond of Peter Pan. How tearfully I recall it!

You pause and let the emotion wash over you. You are thoroughly dampened.

8ut I’ve not met this young lady. Surely this is not your prot8ge, dear Zahhak—

D —> I cannot imagine what you mean

Well, never mind; I want to see how well you’ve trained it. Your favorite p8nter? Writer? Where, if anywhere, should you like to go in life?

fra angelic0 j0hn ruskin and t0 fl0rence 0r t0 r0me

th0ugh if i may be h0nest t0 whitstable for 0ysters

What’s your name?

miss megid0

Miss Megido, do you know who I am????????

y0u are very imp0lite 0_0

==>


Jan 15
Show dialogue:

I love the the8tre!!!!!!!! Especially the actresses.
Then how did you find Miss Maryam’s turn in Twelfth Night?
That was some time ago. Hasn’t she stopped treading the 8oards?
Yes, but it’s a favorite of mine. And, I heard, of yours— unless something soured you on Shakespeare?
Too much 8ardolatry rots the teeth!
But not toothsome young trolls.

Before you can make your rejoinder, someone cuts in.

i was f0nd of peter pan

==>

Show dialogue:

I love the the8tre!!!!!!!! Especially the actresses.

Then how did you find Miss Maryam’s turn in Twelfth Night?

That was some time ago. Hasn’t she stopped treading the 8oards?

Yes, but it’s a favorite of mine. And, I heard, of yours— unless something soured you on Shakespeare?

Too much 8ardolatry rots the teeth!

But not toothsome young trolls.

Before you can make your rejoinder, someone cuts in.

i was f0nd of peter pan

==>


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